party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
