I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize