I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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