I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
