Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
