ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
