I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
