come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
