My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize