It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize