hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
