Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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