We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
