FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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