it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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