We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
