I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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