I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
