You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
