North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
