K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
