I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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