Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
