Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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