Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
