You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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