I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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