I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
farters have to be the big spoon...
Life is so much better after having sex.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Randomize
