i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
