I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
