if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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