But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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