Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
