I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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