there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
