I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
