He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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