If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
