Buhtt sex?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize