Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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