how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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