So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
