dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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