I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize