I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
