I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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