I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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