And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
