remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize