do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
