i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
