She's JV to your varsity
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize