No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
