Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
worst night to have a conscience
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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