She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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