his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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