it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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